midnight rant

Things are afoot. I have been blogging for a while. Thankless task. You blog because you have to. But the only lasting reward is a few real friendships. Words turned into voices. There have been less that ten people perhaps.

I don’t care if you don’t comment. But I do care that you have not tried to get in touch.

I am growing more apart from the very community that have been the core of the readers. I often think that in real life I would like to be completely apart from observant Jews. I don’t resonate with the ethos. I find that there is something troubling inside this decaying culture, it often makes communications strained.

So here, I feel less and less that there is any reason to post. I want to leave this world and chapter behind. I find my entire involvement with the traditional community to be a grave mistake of my life.

I think the Lubavitcher Rebbe and the rest of the Gdolim were well meaning charlatans. But I mostly regret the fact that there is one thing in the world that I really crave, meaningful connection with humans. And I was stupid and naïve to through myself headlong into a community of obsessive compulsive aspergers sufferers, the worst place to be human.

I will remain encouraged by the friends I made in real life.