Narcissus and Goldmund

Cathedral Gargoyles and Grotesques by Walter S. Arnold.

Narcissus: do you think there is a part of our religious experience that is really driven by our need for identity, in this case a tribal identity?
Goldmund: one has to assume it is a very big component.
Narcissus: what if the traditional tribal connections start to crumble, family structure collapses and social interaction are formal and detached; do you think this becomes a weak link in our religious cosmos?
Goldmund: but remember the main factor is still our connection to G-d.
Narcissus: let�s say that we are in the advance stages of G-d�s concealment, suppose there is not prophesy, no miracles, not even a low grade rabbinical leadership. Would you feel deep in your stomach that G-d is silent, would you feel that your spirit is an orphaned child?
Goldmund: yes but we have Torah that connects us to G-d.
Narcissus: yes we do have Torah but it�s interpretation is hijacked by Jewish lawyers who think that dry legal discourse is the essence of our union with the G-dhead.
Narcissus: and what about beauty? We pray bathed in fluorescent lights; our houses of worship are smelly and moldy basements, we treat beauty as sin. Can you understand how an artist feels homeless amongst Jews?
Goldmund: yes but there is a hasiduth.
Narcissus: yes but we don�t hear a maamar anymore, there is no a communion on a personal level, there is no revelations spoken in a direct way.
Goldmund: and the prayer?
Narcissus: Jews pray in quorums and when you pray surrounded by people you don�t love the words of a prayer can�t raise and kiss the angels.
Goldmund: you can complain but we have to do what we Jews were commanded to do!
Narcissus: Do you know that Jews are highly intolerant to dissent. You can be assured that any view that they deem nontraditional will be greeted with the aggressive hostility. Can you visualize a person who is driven away and crushed to a corner?


CANALETTO, London: Ranelagh, Interior of the Rotunda, Oil on canvas, National Gallery, London

Goldmund: we can complain but we have to do what we Jews were commanded to do!
Narcissus: and what if a person who is driven to solitude and ostracized by his people is dreaming of beauty and by an accident this person finds himself enveloped in a theatrical drama of a catholic cathedral with all it�s sensual might. And what if such a person decides to accept the Cross during the month of Elul so he does not have to feel despondent under the fluorescent lights of Rosh Hashona?
Goldmund: the steady cool radiance of the fluorescent is more mature than the childish tapestry of the rosary.
Narcissus: it is not only about beauty. It is about every point that I mentioned. Take tribal identity for example. People are prepared to pay a high price for the admission to a gang, an exclusive club or a tribe. They are prepared to undergo violent initiation, pay money and even risk and often sacrifice the very life to belong. But with Jews you are instructed to disconnect from most people around you with food and custom, and the pitiful reward is the lack of communal and tribal ties, solitude. Our communal breakdown is so profound that almost no one is surprised that Nefesh bNefesh an organization that leads aliyah from America is financed by the Evangelical Christians. This illustrates that the tribe has ceased to perform the most basic functions. But this is not about corporate performance either. This is about a sense of abandonment one feels as Jew today.

(Narcissus and Goldmundby Hermann Hesse.)