Sexual politics in Lubavitch Chabad

I heard about two African tribes that fought each other for many years. They finally made peace and one of the gestures to seal this peace is to mix blood and allow the daughters and the sons from the different tribes to marry each other.

During the Tammuz farbrengen R. Mayshe Schwartz said that his famous father used to say that intermarriage in our days is shfichas domim or a literally "spilling of blood". He proceeded to describe a conversation that occurred that week between him and a Jewish woman who was on verge of marrying a goy.

While I was sitting listening to the sincere and heart felt words of R. Mayshe I couldn't help but think about a different kind of shfichas domim. The spilling of blood of Balley Tshuvas who are invited into the community and then declared tenth class citizens in regards to marriage. Shidduchim politics in general are the most arcane discriminatory and dark part of the traditional Jewish communities. But this is nothing compared to a culture that invites people to be part of the tribe and forgets to tell the new recruits that that the tribal daughters and sons are off limits. Of course there are exceptions, money, lust or even love is the great equalizer. There are tragedies that we know about, Jonathan Alliel joined Chasidim and later killed himself after listening to this song by Guns N' Roses, all because he did run into a wall trying to get married.

But Lubavitch is different. For Chabad to hold back their daughters from the full fledged Jews who joined their ranks upon their aggressive solicitations is dishonest and fatal spilling of blood. And the leaders are ensconced under the layers of good intentions, immune to the imperfections of their own enterprise.